Army Wives

I was sitting in the living room as mom was watching Army Wives.

Oh. My. Gosh.

It was hard watching. It covered a lot of issues that military families cope with. But two of the stories really hit me - A woman cheated on her husband while he was deployed, and another family lost a husband/father in the line of duty.

From what I gathered, the woman who cheated on her husband didn't actually sleep with the other guy, who was a co-worker. They kissed, but apparently there was a lot of emotion involved - Husband: Were you in love with him? Her: I don't know.

By the end of the show, they had agreed to go to counseling. He went to a bar and talked to a friend of his who told him to fight. Fight for her, fight for their family. So he went home, and told her he'd do anything to keep her. I sit now wondering how many marriages end that way. How many men come home to find their wives or girlfriends in love with someone else? Or how many women, when their husbands come home, find that they've been cheated on? The latter is more so my concern, as I couldn't cheat on J if my life depended on it. And while I don't believe he'd cheat on me, the fear will always be there of it happening.

I think it's every family's fear of losing someone in the line of duty. Constantly asking themselves if this tour will be the last. Being afraid to turn on the news and hear their name in the lists of people killed that day. Or, most of all, answering the door and finding the Chaplin there. I've read of other women having something called Anticipatory Grief, where you wait and imagine the worst and you accept the hurt that it brings. I didn't think that would hit me until J signed up, officially. But I do think about it. About what I would do if it did happen. And so I pray that it will be ok, that God will protect him. Or maybe just feel sorry enough for me and leave him on earth for a little longer.